Poop, the ER, and a Lego (Long Post, Long Day)

Did you ever have one of those days? You know the kind we're talking about. It's one of those days where you just say, "It's been one of those days!" Have you ever had one of those days? NO YOU HAVEN'T! OK, maybe you have had even worse, but yesterday was one of those days, and it involved (in this order) poop, an ambulance to the ER, and a Lego. It was one of those days.

Yesterday Jay came home for lunch (which is something he does not do nearly as often as he would like since we live a bit away from work). But yesterday, he came home for lunch and found Sherrie (incidentally, we do not actually refer to ourselves in third person on a regular basis. We actually use real pronouns like "I" on a very regular basis, but when we are blogging, it is from both of us; so, while Jay or Sherrie is actually typing this, he or she will refer to him- or herself in the third person. This may cause a minor dilemma for the reader, namely, whose voice do I imagine this all being spoken in? Easy! Kermit the Frog. Why? Who knows? Sherrie's sister, Janice, says she always imagines Kermit the Frog's voice when reading our blog, so it seems like a good idea. If you have any questions as to her choice of Muppets, talk to her about it...maybe in Miss Piggy's voice.) in the post-clean up stages of an adventure. She was not thrilled about it, and when she related what had happened to Jay, he started laughing. She informed him that laughter was definitely NOT the proper response, so as you read please keep that in mind. It is NOT funny. After all, since when is flinging poo funny? Never. And, no, Sherrie was not doing the flinging.

So, someone, and we're not sure who (but his name might rhyme with atthew) forgot to flush the toilet. Of course, this was a number two. And cute little innocent baby boy (who really isn't a baby anymore--they grow up too fast!) decided to investigate. He came to her smelling like poo, which isn't actually all that unusual, except the poo smell was coming from everywhere except his diaper. GROSS! Sherrie went to investigate and found poo flung all around the toilet and a plastic cup and toy fishing pole in the icky gross toilet (that kid is doing fishing completely wrong!). Needless to say, she was not terribly excited. Jay came home after the clean up, heard the story, inappropriately laughed his head off (which he certainly would not have done if he had been the one to go through the ordeal), and picked up the monkey (you know, monkeys like flinging poo). He also smelled a nasty poo smell, looked down, and saw some on Ben's shirt that Sherrie had missed (it was hiding under his overalls). That was an unpleasant surprise. He then was in for another unpleasant thought as he realized, "Hey, if that smell came from the poo that is on his clothes, then that means that the wetness on his sleeves that have been all over me is....EWW!" Fortunately for him the wetness was actually the aftermath of Sherrie washing Ben's hands and arms!

That was enough excitement for one day, but it was actually just beginning. Sherrie called Jay just as he was finishing work and informed him that she was on her way to the hospital with Ethan. Ethan had not been feeling well and was running a fever. Sherrie was holding him when she felt his temperature suddenly rise and he had a seizure and stopped breathing. She immediately called 911 and gave Ethan mouth-to-mouth (while on the phone with the 911 operator). Ethan's whole face was blue and the other kids were freaking out. Sherrie has no idea how long he wasn't breathing, but she thinks it was probably less than a minute before he began breathing again.

As terrifying as this was, it was not the first time we have experienced this with our kids, although it was the first time for Ethan. The same thing happened to Jayden on two separate occasions (once as an infant and again when he about Ethan's age). It's called a febrile seizure, and it is actually fairly common in children under the age of five. It's caused by a sudden, sharp rise in temperature which causes the body to seize. It's very scary to see, but not actually cause for too much alarm. Of course, that's easy to say when you are not standing there with your unbreathing, blue child who really looks like he is dying in your arms!

Of course, an ambulance came and brought Sherrie and Ethan to the ER where Jay met them. Uncle Ethan was awesome for coming over and watching the other kids (the paramedics were nice enough to wait for him to get there, and they even gave our other kids a tour of the ambulance! Obviously, little Ethan was not at a critical stage at this point. Most paramedics do not take a break from an emergency situation to show off their ambulance, or listen to the kids suggest that they install a swimming pool in there. "We've got to get this gunshot victim to the ER immediately!" "Yeah, OK, but I was wondering, do you suppose there's anyway we could fit a swimming pool in here?" "What are you talking about??? We've got to go NOW!!!" "OK! Fine! But can we maybe stop at a swimming pool on the way?" Nope, they don't do that, so there was obviously nothing to worry about for little Ethan at this point, they just wanted a doctor to check him out to rule out anything else. Plus, when you call 911 and they send an ambulance to you, it's just a waste of a trip if they don't bring someone to the ER, even if they did get to show off the ambulance to some kids).

Anyway, Ethan was fine. The worst he had to endure was sitting in the ER for about two hours and sipping on blue Gatorade (which is kind of gross, but he liked it). After they saw us playing volleyball with balloons we had made out of rubber gloves, they let us go. We're pretty sure that's actually a requirement for being discharged from the ER, which is why they have so many boxes of rubber gloves in there.

So, our day was pretty exciting. We made it to bed time with the kids all in their pajamas and having brushed their teeth. We read scriptures together and said our family prayer. That's when surprise number three came. Matthew said, in just about the most casual, nonchalant voice you can imagine, "Well actually, the Lego arm in my nose is kind of uncomfortable." WHAT??? It was the most random thing to hear, and he said it in the most off-handed way to one of his siblings, that we were stunned. We asked him to clarify, and he confessed that he had taken the hand from a little Lego figure and shoved it up his nose...THE DAY BEFORE!

It was a fun day.