"Paper Bags Don't Have Tongues!"

That was a direct quote from Jay. So of course you're thinking, "Hmm...What on earth would cause Jay to make such an exclamation?" Well, it's really quite simple. We were practicing what to do in case of hyperventilation, you know, breathe into a paper bag. "Hold on," you say. "What on earth possessed you to practice that? That's not something that really needs practicing. You're either hyperventilating, so you breathe into a paper bag, or you're not and you don't." OK, so that's true, but it was late and it sounded like a really good idea. Well, no it didn't, but we did it anyway. So Jay says to Sherrie, "Hey, do you think if you were hyperventilating and you didn't have a paper bag handy that you could just get the same effect from breathing into my mouth?" You know, kind of like CPR, only really weird. Sherrie was of course intrigued by the idea. No, she wasn't at all, but remember, it was really late (you all know what happens when you get all slap-happy late at night and even the word "peanut butter" makes you bust up laughing). So anyway, we decided to give it a try. Jay sealed his lips against Sherrie's (don't worry, this is definitely "G" rated stuff), exhaled, and then inhaled. Did you ever hold the vacuum hose up to your mouth as a kid? Of course you did. Well, same thing. And thus the exclamation, "Paper bags don't have tongues!"